He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
