Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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