Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My penis needs a shock collar
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
