There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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