Banned from zoo.
Again?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
