I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
