I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
