I wannas sexs uuuuu
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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