My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
