i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
