Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
