everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
