Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
