With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
