Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
