I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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