But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
