it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
