i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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