the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
