I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
