What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
