Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
