How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
