i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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