She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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