I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
