She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
