Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
vagina is talking i cant
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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