You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
