Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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