Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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