I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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