Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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