Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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