my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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