hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
