I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
