I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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