I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
