He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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