Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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