Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
