awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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