I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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