I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
