Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
