I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
