We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
