i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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