my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
